Competitive, Caddy, Snotty, Stuck-up, Stand-offish....
Here's a partial list of words women often use to describe each other. You know you've heard them used before or you've probably spoken them yourself. More than likely, they've been used to describe you and I, on occasion. Behind our backs, of course! But then again, we would never dream of saying any of these words to someone's face, let alone, expect them to say them to ours.
Welcome to a woman's world! We have our own little women's club (whether we realize it or not) and only those who are "worthy" are allowed into our membership. It's the unwritten, unnamed, never-ending club of the female world. I think it starts in elementary school, at the age when girls start noticing differences in each other.
You know, like..........
she's taller than me
her hair is longer than mine
her clothes are much more prettier than mine
look at how blue her eyes are
she can run so much faster than me
she gets A's on all her tests
the boys pay so much attention to her
It's when girls start noticing the strengths in others that they begin doubting their own! It's starting at a younger and younger age, and it seems to continue all through life.
Let's just call it what it is..........INSECURITY!
There, I said it!
We all suffer from it. Go ahead and admit it.
It's comes straight from the pit of hell and we have no chance of getting rid of it unless we first admit it to ourselves.
We're all insecure, in some way. And most of the time, those insecurities come about by comparing ourselves to others. We're not satisfied with how God made us, or with the gifts and talents that he gave us. Instead, we look at the strengths in others and in turn, see the deficiencies in ourselves. Then we take it a step further and place judgement and hatred on women we haven't even taken the time to get to know.
Here's what I mean.........
A new woman enters your job, church, or women's club. She's tall, thin, very pretty and dressed very fashionably. Some of the first thoughts of every other woman in that room (if they would admit it):
" Who's that woman?"
"Boy she's pretty!"
"She has the cutest outfit and boy, it fits her so well!"
"Her hair is so thick and long."
"I bet she colors it."
"She can't be a real blonde because her eyebrows are brown."
"For her age, she's really perky and big."
"I bet they're not real!"
"Oh, wait.....she looked my way.....she didn't even smile.......I knew it,
she's probably a snot!"
Our insecurities cause us to destroy ourselves and every relationship we could ever have!
I spent a good portion of my younger years comparing myself to others and to the unrealistic expectations of the world. I wasted years trying to be someone else......someone who God didn't create me to be. I never felt that I was pretty enough, funny enough, nice enough, smart enough...........I could go on and on. It wasn't until my late 30's that God taught me to be okay in my own skin. He showed me that I was created in HIS image, which means that I am beautiful to him! I learned that how I treat others way outshines how I look on the outside! Personality is way more important than a perfect manicure.
It's been a process and a journey........one I wish I could have grasped hold of a lot sooner. But now, as one of the "older women", I try to pass on this wisdom to the younger women. There are still moments when my old self tries to resurface, especially when other women will drop one-liners about my appearance. You see, I have always been very thin due to a thyroid issue. Most women don't know that about me, and if they do, they say they wish they had my problem. But what they don't understand is that being "too thin" makes you feel as insecure as being "too big". Only difference is that others aren't afraid to remind you how "thin" you are! One lady once told me that "I was so thin that she would never sit behind me again"! I understand now that when people comment about my thinness, that they're just allowing their insecurities to show through, but for years, those comments crushed me.
We all fight different battles and we can't begin to understand those battles unless we take the time to get to know each other, stop the comparison wars and truly love and care for each other. We aren't in a competition, we're all on the same team, striving for the same goal. What's that goal? To be the best woman we can be! When we understand who God created us to be, we can then begin to love and accept ourselves. From there, we can be the best wives, mothers, daughters, and friends EVER!!
Women desperately need each other! Let's overcome our insecurities and be there for each other! We can accomplish so much more together!
As true friends and supporters of each other we should:
Cheer louder than the hecklers
Love stronger than the haters
Care deeper than the backstabbers
Support longer than the naysayers
Compliment higher than the gossipers
and most of all.....
Love beyond measure!
Have a great day !